The Nitty Gritty!

Blake and I have started marriage counseling in the last couple weeks. We are being taught and led by the Pastor of our Church, Heath, and his wife Lisa. We had a great session last night. They were so generous to open their home up to us…spent hours on the couch talking through things, pouring our wisdom and asking the hard questions. Their sweet little girls we so good and stayed in the play room and watched a movie almost the whole time. They are adorable. Looking at them makes me so excited to have a family someday (but not toooo soon!) I love having both Heath and Lisa involved in this as Lisa can impart such awesome insight as a woman and Heath truly speaks with authority in Christ and conviction as a husband that is loving his wife well and doing it through the guidance of the Lord. They are an amazing example for us. I’m really happy to look to other wise and Godly couples, especially through OTBC, to help guide us into the unknown of marriage!

After 3 hours of homework on Sunday, Blake and I talked through a wide range of things in preparation for Tuesday night. I am so so so excited about this journey! Already it is spurring on some amazing conversation and dialog. I know it’s going to be hard, uncomfortable, maybe even painful at times but I am loving learning more about myself and about how that will shape our marriage as 2 lives begin to merge into 1. (I totally just had that Spice Girls song pop into my head – yikes!)

A few weeks back I had a big realization that I am not a very introspective person. I tend to just fly through life, from one event or task to the next. Many times, I don’t even process what is going on – from what I’m learning to what’s impacting me or shaping me. It's not that I don't like to think about myself or even get down to the hard details, it's just that I don't do it. It's a hard disciple for me. I’m not much of a journaler at all (this blog is the closest thing to it) but I really want to find ways to challenge myself to be more of a processor about myself. The funny part is, I tend to over analyze EVERYTHING about EVERYONE else! I want to make sure I’m truly stopping to see what the Lord has to teach me. I desire to look at each of life’s events as clear and intentional ways God is present in my life and molding and shaping me in the process. Most times that I am the most introspective is actually in conversation, discovering things about myself as it comes out of my mouth. Maybe I just need to be talking more? I think this whole counseling thing is really going to help me get there. Pray for my journey of some self discovery and figuring out who I am in Christ.

Off for some sushi and a bike ride with the fiancé tonight!